As I've mentioned several times before, I did not grow up fat. I don't have any horror stories about being teased as a child, being picked last for dodgeball or having to sit alone at lunch. I've always had a smaller build and was gifted athletically, thus never living a very sedentary life. I hear a lot of my WW blogger and online friends talking about people who judge them for being overweight. I have to admit, I have always been one of the those people. I still am to some extent.
I was the kid in school who didn't want to be friends with the fat girl or boy. I would stuff my Hostess cupcakes in my cheeks and make faces at them. I'd be the first one to complain when the fat kid had to be on my team in gym class and I'd laugh at them when I lapped them during a mile run. I wasn't necessarily a cruel child, I was just going along with the perceptions of society. My parents didn't raise me to make fun of overweight people, but they did raise me to believe that a proper diet and exercise made you a healthier person. Still, I came to see fat people as lazy, unmotivated and unhappy.
When I put on weight, I did it so slowly that I barely noticed it was happening. The gradual gains barely registered with me because I thought gaining a little bit of weight was normal for a girl in her 20's. I wasn't an athlete anymore, my metabolism was slowing down, and gaining a little weight was just a fact of life. WRONG. By the time I noticed that I was not as thin as I used to be, I knew that my choices had made me gain weight, not facts of life. A lack of exercise and consumption of high calorie food was to blame, and I realized that if I didn't get myself back on track, I would soon become the type of person that I had always judged. I used to roll my eyes at women in the dressing room who would stuff themselves into clothes that were to small and now I was afraid that I was that woman.
After being on the plan for 12 weeks and losing 16 lbs and countless inches, I'm glad I didn't become the stereotypical fat girl that I had always judged. Do I still judge people? To be honest, yes. But now I judge them on whether or not they are taking the steps to change their lives. I respect and applaud those who have taken control of their weight in a healthy and responsible way. But I still feel sorry for the people I see that have weight and health problems spiraling out of control. So many people have been an inspiration to me, and I urge people with weight and health problems to just take the first step towards a new life. That first step could lead you to becoming the person you always knew you could be, but never had the courage to become.....
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8 years ago
6 comments:
I check you blog everyday. I have read all of your postings, and this one made me mad. How can you judge someone that you don't know? You have no idea what events in someones life made them the way they are. I am glad that your parents taught you about healthy living. But what abouth those people whos family didn't? Maybe they only had money to get mac and cheese and hotdogs. And, you say that you don't judge people that sre doing something about their weight. But if you were to pass me on the street how would you know that I have lost 40.5 lbs in the last 14 weeks. I am still a heavy person at 244 lbs. How can you judge what you don't know?
This was actually kind of the point of this post..... judging people is something that everyone does, even if it isn't right. I knew it would be controversial and that some people might get upset....
You are absolutely right, I don't know the circumstances of everyone's life. We are all raised differently. One of the reasons I started blogging is because I read all of the inspiring stories of people who were losing weight and getting healthy, whether it was a struggle for them or easy for them. I just wanted to admit that I have judged people without knowing them, and that I still do sometimes. It's part of human nature, we all judge each other whether we want to or not.
We shouldn't judge what we don't know, but we do. I just want people to realize that taking the first step towards changing can make a huge difference.... no matter what the problem is.
We all have a different journey and different opinions, so I welcome people's feedback on what I write, good or bad. Thanks for your comment heatherella, I'm sorry if I offended you, but I always want to be honest, even if it portrays me in a way others might not like. I hope you keep checking in!
Kerrin,
I will say I have to agree with you. We all judge people everyday. I know when I work with the guests at our hotel. Sometimes I'm like good thing I'm not him because I couldn't put up with her bs, or I'd shoot myself. How do I know that she hasn't had a bad day, I don't but I do know that I make judgements about people. I have to say before people start to slam you, they should look at their own lives and see if they do the same thing in a different fashion!
I lost 1.6 lbs this week, making it 44.6 lbs in 14 weeks!
One thing my parents NEVER stressed to me while I was growing up was the importance of a healthy diet and exercise. My father was overweight. He was an Italian chef, and he LOVED food. I still remember going up to my grandparents' house when I was little. "You're too skinny! We gotta put some more meat on your bones!" You'd polish off a whole chicken cutlet, and then somebody at the table would spear another one and fling it onto your plate. Haha. My mom has always been super skinny. I was pretty active as a kid, but I never made it a point to eat good foods or exercise for the sake of exercising. Boot camp was a real physical shock to me. I used to laugh, with my friends, at overweight people when I was little, but I haven't laughed at, or judged, anyone in a long time. I guess just because you never know the real reason WHY someone is overweight. This lady who lived near us when I was living at home was REALLY obese, and I found out one day that she had lupus and gained most of her weight as a result of taking Prednisone, etc. A lot of people have eating disorders. And yeah, there are also a lot of people who are just EXTREMELY lazy. In their case, like you said, I wouldn't judge them as much for their weight as I would for their apathy toward making good, healthy life choices.
You're a really good writer. :-)
Just wanted you to know that I am new to your blog and at first I was mad at this entry in your blog. However, first of all its your blog and yours to do with as you wish. Secondly, I am overweight and have lost 30 some odd pounds and have about 110 left to go. No, you wouldn't know that if you passed me on the street and you probably would judge me. But, BUT, don't be fooled by the heavy people who might judge you for your comments. Believe me, we judge too. We judge thin people to help boost our own self esteem. "I just couldn't ever be that thin....that just doesn't look good" or whatever....But, we also see someone that might be bigger than us and say "Wow, I sure am glad I am not that big" instead of understanding that they are struggling with the same type of food issues I am struggling with. Something I will struggle with for the rest of my life.
So, I just wanted to say thanks. Yes, it upsets me when people judge me for what I look like instead of getting to the wonderful person I am ((LOL)) but I can't change them, but I can change me!
Great blog by the way!!
You have an interesting perspective, being someone who has not had to struggle with their weight through childhood or adolescence. I think it brings an interesting viewpoint to the weight loss blogging world. And it validates what I had been thinking about weight for quite some time: that people do judge on looks and that if you look attractive, people will think you are attractive. Basically, long story short--people treat you differently at different weights. I think it's the thing that no one really wants to say, but people know is true. I haven't experience the skinny side, but I am interested in seeing how my life changes when those quick judgments are cast aside... (at least concerning weight, anyway)... Thank you for being honest in your blog. It's who you are and that's good!
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