How the hell did this happen??

The weigh in results are in: down a monumental 3.0 lbs this week!! Holy shit!! That means I've hit my 10% goal and my mini goal of losing 20 lbs by the New Year! Now that's the type of Christmas present I was hoping for! 

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

A Grateful Girl On A Mission...

I just got off the phone with one of my best friends and I was thinking about our conversation... we discussed the usual things girlfriends chat about: family, work, men doing stupid things, and the rapidly approaching holidays. Sure, we use each other to vent, but one thing I love about this friend in particular is the fact that we discuss things that we're thankful for. So what I am thankful for, you may ask? Most of the usual stuff, but some really weird things as well. 

1) My family- we may not be the Cleavers, but there's a lot of love and support in my family, both immediate and extended. I know people who are not as fortunate as I am in the "family department", so I'm thankful for the family that I have. 

2) My friends- I've got a pretty incredible group of friends, even though they don't all know each other. I have childhood friends, work friends, and friends that I've met over the years through others or school. Each one of them is unique in their own way and has certain qualities or characteristics that I love about them. We may not always see eye to eye, but we're always there for each other. 

3) My health- I have been blessed genetically and physically to not have any major health issues. I am not physically or medically limited in any way, which is a gift when I see so many people (including those I love) struggling with illness and limitations. From to depression to cancer, there are so many things to be afflicted with, so I'm thankful that I'm healthy. 

4) My job- In today's economy, there are so many people struggling financially, or those who are out of work. I'm not wealthy by any means, but I can afford to support myself and I have a very stable job with benefits. I'm also fortunate because I love my work and get to support a cause I care about on a daily basis (our right to bear arms). 

5) My previous relationships- I'm not in a relationship right now, but I'm thankful that I'm okay with being single and also for what I've learned from my past relationships. I have had a few shitty boyfriends, but I've also had some really good ones that taught me about myself, and about love in general. My last boyfriend in particular helped me realize how loving yourself helps you love another person. He's still a very close friend of mine and I'm grateful for the lessons he taught me. 

My life is far from perfect. I've got debt, some weight to lose, a few character flaws, and a grandmother in a nursing home. But for the most part, I've been very fortunate. Call it luck, karma, fate, hard work, whatever you want to call it, I've got it pretty good. That's why this Christmas and New Year's will be all the more special, because I'm finally able to appreciate what I have and show my gratitude to those in my life who mean the most. To my fellow bloggers and those who just read, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! And to my Jewish friends, Happy Hanukkah, enjoy your festival of lights! 

The dumbest commercial ever!!

I know that this has nothing to do with me or my weight loss goals, but I think I have found the dumbest commercial in the entire world- for Sean John's "I Am King" cologne. 

For those of you who are blessed and haven't had to see it, picture P. Diddy (or Puffy, Sean Combs, whatever the hell he's calling himself these days) riding on a jet ski in a tuxedo. Apparently, when you have as much money as P. Diddy, you don't mind ruining a tuxedo by racing through the syringe infested, bacteria laden East River (I think he's actually in Miami, but I like the thought of it being the East River). To make matters worse, Diddy spews ridiculous phrases that he apparently deems to be motivational like "I think, therefore I  am." Not a bad phrase, but it seems a little silly coming from a man riding a jet ski with a tuxedo on. 

My little rant is over, I just want to know if anyone found this commercial as stupid as I did. 

Weigh In Results!

This morning's weigh in went much better than I was expecting it to..... I was down 1.6 lbs for a total of 17.4 lbs lost! That means not only did I hit my 10% goal, but I'm also only 2.6 lbs away from my mini goal of losing 20 lbs by the New Year! I'm hoping that I can lose that 2.6 lbs by my next weigh in, but I still have two weeks to lose it (or 1.3 lbs per week) which is much more realistic. Just wanted to check in and let everyone know how it went, and has anyone hear from Nathan? Check in with me Nathan, I want to know how you're doing!

Spice it up!

I have a new food obsession..... salsa! I've always loved spicy food, but lately I've been wanting spicy food all the time. Since Mexican food isn't very figure friendly, I bought a large container of salsa from my favorite Mexican restaurant. I've been putting it on everything.... scrambled eggs, baked potatoes, using it as salad dressing and eating it with high fiber tortilla chips. The best part is that it's 0 points, and it really hits the spot when I want to eat something full of flavor. To me, eating bland food is like eating nothing at all... you're still hungry after you eat because your food didn't satisfy you in terms of taste. For me, salsa is a great way to satisfy that need for flavorful food. Plus, I'm buying it fresh since my favorite Mexican place makes it daily. That means no added preservatives, sodium or other nasty stuff. 

I've got weigh in tomorrow, and quite frankly I'm not looking forward to it. Even though the scale was looking great a few days ago, I think that I took that as a sign to start eating. I went out to dinner Sunday night and Monday night and didn't make stellar food choices. I also had a work related Christmas luncheon at P.F. Chang's today..... it's like giving Superman some Kryptonite. My boss always orders appetizers for us, so I went with one lettuce wrap which is very low in points. But then the spring rolls were staring at me, so I had half of one. For my entree I had the lunch portion of the shrimp with lobster sauce and brown rice, accompanied by egg drop soup. All very "points friendly." So I'm not doing too bad, right? WRONG. My boss also makes us order dessert, so rather than getting a full sized piece of chocolate cake, I got the mini-shooter style chocolate cake dessert. More than I wanted to eat, but I committed the cardinal sin of not eating breakfast this morning and felt more hungry than usual. 

So dinner ended up being a baked potato with spray butter, light sour cream, reduced fat cheese and of course, salsa. Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight, but between nerves about starting my new job tomorrow and drinking about 3 gallons of water today, who knows! 

A Love Rekindled

My Mom and I have a lot of things is common, but one of the things that we bond over the most is shopping. We've always had a great time trekking through the mall and browsing our favorite clothing stores. My Mom has always been my faithful shopping sidekick, grabbing things that might look good, picking coordinating pieces, running to get another size/color, and most importantly, telling me whether or not things looked good on me. When I was thin, there was rarely an issue when it came to trying on clothes. I knew which styles and sizes were best for me and Mom rarely had a critical remark. I loved shopping for clothes because I could always find something I liked. 

However, as slowly gained weight, I found myself liking clothes shopping less and less. I was hearing my mother say thing like "You're going to need the next size up" or "That's not very flattering" more and more frequently and I would be lying if I said that it didn't break my spirit. I wasn't upset that my Mom was criticizing me, she was just being honest. I was upset that the additional weight I had gained had begun to hinder me and took joy out of simple things that I loved to do. I would snap at my mother for her comments and leave stores angry because I had to buy yet another size larger. My usual size 6 had become a size 10, and then suddenly a 12. That was when I knew I needed to make a change. 

3 months and nearly 20 lbs later, I've got my love of shopping back. Today my Mom and I were able to spend the day together shopping, laughing and most importantly enjoying each others' company. She didn't have to make critical remarks, and I didn't have to snap at her because of my insecurity. I had been waiting until this point (my halfway point) to buy clothes because most of my old stuff is too big. I can't wait to reach goal so I can go shopping again and share that special moment with my Mom. 

Changes......

This upcoming week is going to be very busy, but should be promising. I start my new position at work on Wednesday, which will be bittersweet for me. I'm excited for new challenges and opportunities, but I'll miss the people I worked with. The good news is that I'm only 2 floors and a short elevator ride away :) 

The change I'm really happy about is the number on the scale! I weigh myself every morning and every night because I don't like surprises. At lot of people say it's bad to weigh yourself everyday, but it helps keep me motivated so I'm not stopping anytime soon. Part of the reason why I gained this weight that I'm losing is because I didn't weigh myself for months and never got "scale shock." What I'm really excited about is that I've finally hit my 10% goal and I'm only 1.8 lbs away from my mini goal of losing 20 lbs by the New Year. Do I dare resurrect my previous goal of losing 25 lbs by 2009?? I think I'll have to wait for the official weigh in results on Wednesday to make that decision. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I'm off to get ready and go wine tasting with my wineaux partner in crime, Mary!  

You be the Judge

As I've mentioned several times before, I did not grow up fat. I don't have any horror stories about being teased as a child, being picked last for dodgeball or having to sit alone at lunch. I've always had a smaller build and was gifted athletically, thus never living a very sedentary life. I hear a lot of my WW blogger and online friends talking about people who judge them for being overweight. I have to admit, I have always been one of the those people. I still am to some extent.

I was the kid in school who didn't want to be friends with the fat girl or boy. I would stuff my Hostess cupcakes in my cheeks and make faces at them. I'd be the first one to complain when the fat kid had to be on my team in gym class and I'd laugh at them when I lapped them during a mile run. I wasn't necessarily a cruel child, I was just going along with the perceptions of society. My parents didn't raise me to make fun of overweight people, but they did raise me to believe that a proper diet and exercise made you a healthier person. Still, I came to see fat people as lazy, unmotivated and unhappy.

When I put on weight, I did it so slowly that I barely noticed it was happening. The gradual gains barely registered with me because I thought gaining a little bit of weight was normal for a girl in her 20's. I wasn't an athlete anymore, my metabolism was slowing down, and gaining a little weight was just a fact of life. WRONG. By the time I noticed that I was not as thin as I used to be, I knew that my choices had made me gain weight, not facts of life. A lack of exercise and consumption of high calorie food was to blame, and I realized that if I didn't get myself back on track, I would soon become the type of person that I had always judged. I used to roll my eyes at women in the dressing room who would stuff themselves into clothes that were to small and now I was afraid that I was that woman.

After being on the plan for 12 weeks and losing 16 lbs and countless inches, I'm glad I didn't become the stereotypical fat girl that I had always judged. Do I still judge people? To be honest, yes. But now I judge them on whether or not they are taking the steps to change their lives. I respect and applaud those who have taken control of their weight in a healthy and responsible way. But I still feel sorry for the people I see that have weight and health problems spiraling out of control. So many people have been an inspiration to me, and I urge people with weight and health problems to just take the first step towards a new life. That first step could lead you to becoming the person you always knew you could be, but never had the courage to become.....

Attention Pizza Lovers....

While browsing the supermarket with my handy Points Calculators the other day, I was aimlessly wandering near the frozen pizza, mourning the loss of yet another food I used to enjoy.... 

But then I saw Kashi's frozen pizza, specifically the Mushroom Trio & Spinach. The picture on the box looked delicious and with "14g of Protein and 4g of Fiber" on the packaging, I knew I had to check out the nutritional information and find the points value. For 1/3 of the pizza (one serving), it's only 5 points! That's right folks, only 5 points for a generous portion! I bought it, thinking to myself, It must be too good to be true... I bet it tastes like cardboard. 

After a long day at work, tutoring two students and a great weigh in, I felt like I was ready for a reward and decided that tonight would be a great time to try the Kashi pizza. I placed it in the oven, watching the crust rise and the cheese melt, just like it looked on the box. When it was ready I immediately cut it into thirds and put away the 2/3rds that I wouldn't be eating. I finally bit into my pizza and couldn't have been more surprised! Not only did the pizza  look good, but it tasted good and was actually fit into my food plan! It totally satisfied my pizza craving and made a very filling meal with a side of mixed veggies. If you love pizza, this is one brand that you've got to check out!

Great Weigh In!

I was down 2.4 lbs at weigh in today! I'm so happy to lose what I've gained over the past 2 weeks plus an additional 0.6 lbs! My mini-goal is to hit my 10% next week (I have to lose another 1.2 lbs) and my next goal was to lose a total of 25 by the New Year (which means 9.2 lbs to lose in 3 weeks, or 3 lbs per week). My first New Year's goal is probably a bit of a stretch, so I'm modifying my goal to 20 lbs total lost by New Year's (4.2 lbs in 3 weeks, or 1.4 lbs a week) which is a much more manageable goal. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to break into the 150's this week and hit my 10% goal, but 2.4 lbs is a significant loss for a person of my weight and height (5'5 and 160.2), so I'll take it!

I want to thank everyone who reads and follows this blog for all of your help and support, especially my Mom who is a Lifetime member of WW and offers me so much advice and encouragement! My friends have also be incredibly supportive, whether it's staying in the office to eat lunch with me so I'm not tempted or meeting me at the gym to work out. Each week brings new and exciting challenges, and I'm determined to keep losing, toning up and reaching my goal!

A pretty awesome day

So today was a great day for a variety of reasons, but it was a great day for my weight loss goals too. Not only did I eat some really delicious food, but I stayed within my points value, got in an ass-kicking workout and loved the numbers I saw on the scale! So here is the menu for today:

Breakfast:

-2 Van's waffles (2 points for 2 waffles, you've got to get them!) 

-reduced calorie pancake syrup

-light butter

-red grapefruit

-fat free milk 

AM Snack:

-reduced fat cheese stick 

Lunch:

-Leftover Shrimp and Vegetables with garlic sauce

-brown rice 

-apple 

-sugar free pudding 

-Diet Dr Pepper 

PM Snack:

-Kashi Cereal bar 

Dinner:

-Salad from Chipotle with lettuce, black beans, mild salsa, corn salsa and cheese (no dressing)

I've got weigh in tomorrow, so send skinny vibes my way!!

Yet another holiday party....

'Tis the season to be..... EATING, DRINKING and generally putting things in your body that shouldn't be there. I am determined to not go overboard at yet another holiday party at work. Thankfully there will be no alcohol at this one, but there will be sugary punch. I'm going to bring my own water to keep from drinking a day's worth of points. I've also eaten a pretty filling lunch and I have my own snacks on hand should I feel the need to eat (string cheese and orange slices). However, I know that there will be a fruit tray and veggie platter so I'll have some safe choices! I'll be back in the gym tonight too for my usual cardio and light weights. Here's the meal plan for the day:

Breakfast:
-3 slices turkey bacon
-light multi-grain English muffin with sugar free blackberry jam
-1 cup fat free milk

AM Snack:
-1 cup red grapefruit
-small banana

Lunch:
-turkey and reduced fat provolone on a pumpernickel wrap with fat free mayo & dijon mustard
-1 1/3 cup steamed green beans
-small apple
-sugar free jello pudding
-Diet Dr. Pepper

PM Snack:
-orange slices
-reduced fat string cheese

Dinner:
-Shrimp & vegetable stir-fry with garlic sauce
-1 cup brown rice

Dessert:
-sugar free jello

Weekend successes

During my last post, I wrote about trying to keep a Friday morning bagel from setting a dangerous chain of eating events into motion. So how did I do? Pretty darn good, actually. At the Christmas party complete with open bar, appetizers and buffet, I had 2 beers during the cocktail hour and no appetizers. When we went in for dinner, I had one more beer and ate salad with balsamic vinaigrette, mixed vegetables, wild rice and 1/8 cup mashed potatoes. I also passed on the dessert afterwards. When I got home later that night, I ate the dinner I had already planned out (high fiber pasta with ground turkey meat sauce). 

Yesterday I had a business meeting all day which we were having catered for breakfast with muffins, bagels, turnovers and donuts, followed a lunch of lasagna and garlic bread. Since it was held in our office, I brought my breakfast and lunch like I do most days- oatmeal for breakfast, orange slices for a morning snack, leftover pasta and veggies for lunch, and an apple for my afternoon snack. I never touched the catered food! When we took our visitors out for dinner last night I did get a pasta dish but didn't finish and passed on the appetizers. It's a small success, but it's nice to have my will power back after last weekend. I stepped on the scale this morning and was delighted to see that I've dropped into the 150's!! I'm hoping that I can keep the ball rolling until weigh in on Wednesday! For now, I'm off to the gym! 

Trying not to let my morning get the best of me....

This is an unusual Friday for me. First of all, I was tasked with getting breakfast foods and beverages for up to 15 people ready at work by 8:00. Normally I don't have to be to work until 8:30, but this a group of VIPs were coming to the building and we wanted to have a nice little spread for them. That meant I had to go to Panera for 1 1/2 dozen bagels and cream cheese this morning and then to the grocery store to pick up OJ, muffins, turnovers and a fruit platter. I got into the office, set everything up and then......... nothing. Everyone was going to be late, and I would be left alone with all of this food. I had my Kashi Cereal Bar for breakfast and my glass of fat free milk, but by 9:00 those bagels were looking mighty tasty and I ate one, laden with cream cheese. Keep in mind that I will still earn 8 activity points at the gym tonight to make up for my bagel mistake, but I was still disappointed in myself for eating it. Oh well, the deed is done, time to move on to my next hurdle for the day.....

The dreaded company Christmas party with an open bar!!!

That's right, at noon we will begin the great migration to the beautiful Waterford events center where I will spend a few hours with an open bar, appetizers and a buffet. I've promised myself that I will have just one beer (light, of course) and only eat salad and vegetables at the buffet. Absolutely no mashed potatoes, bread & butter or dessert!!! We'll see how well I do, but I feel a mountain of temptation coming. Reason #468 to hate the Holiday season!!

Losing Momentum... the Momentum Plan!

As many of you may be aware, Weight Watchers has debuted their new "Momentum Plan." Gone are the days of Flex and Core because WW has rolled them into this new and not-so-improved plan. In case you couldn't tell, I'm neither pleased nor impressed with this change. You have to track your hunger and your activity points don't come into play until you've used up all your weekly flex points. I find this to be counter productive. You can't tell me that if I run my ass off on Monday and earn 8 activity points, I can eat those activity points later in the week and still lose weight?? I'm calling bullshit on that one. I was doing just fine on the flex plan, earning my activity points and not dipping into my weekly flex points unless absolutely necessary.

Here is the reality of weight loss, regardless of whatever plan your on:

1) A reduced calorie diet low in fat and high in fiber will aid in weight loss. By eating the proper foods in the proper portions, you can shred pounds. And we all know that you shouldn't eat when your not hungry.

2) Exercises, specifically a combination of cardio-vascular work and resistance/strength training, will aid in weight loss.

3) The two aforementioned factors combined will maximize weight loss. BUT ONLY IF YOU REALLY DO IT!!!

In one of his previous posts, Tony P. (aka AntiJared) mentioned how ridiculous it was when his leader talked about hula-hooping as a form of exercises and I was laughing right along with him. GET REAL PEOPLE!! A hula hoop will not get you into size 4 pants. Neither will 20 minutes of gardening or 40 minutes of vacuuming. Get your ass on a treadmill or elliptical machine for at least 30 minutes 4 times a week. You don't have to run, just move for Christ's sake. Suggesting that the hula hoop is an adequate form of exercises is almost insulting to those of us who exercises religiously.

But back to the diet- I see a lot of people in my WW meetings that should be losing 4-5 lbs a week IF THEY WERE ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THE PLAN. I've gained the last two weeks. Part of the has to do with Mother Nature's monthly visit, the other with the fact that I didn't stay on plan. Before that, I had been losing consistently thanks to the plan and exercises. I'm tired of going to meetings and having old, bitter and jealous fat women glare at me because I followed the directions and lost weight. I wasn't what society would consider "fat" when I started WW, so I immediately was subject to the "Why are you here?" and "You don't need to lose weight!" comments. The feelings of animosity only increased as I continued to lose.

My main point is that if you use common sense and follow the plan, you will lose weight. No cheating, no excuses, no slacking- just do it and you will lose! The Momentum Plan is new and I don't have all the details yet, but I not convinced that this change is for the better. For now, I'm sticking to my Flex Plan, making good food choices and literally exercising my ass off!

On a roll.....

It never ceases to amaze me how much a few days of staying on plan and working out can make you feel like a different person. I've been struggling with PMS and ridiculous amounts of bitchiness this week so throwing myself into meal planning and the gym has been my saving grace. I would to publicly thank Pamela and Nathan for their Marie Antoinette nominations! The world of blogging has provided me with a whole new support system for meeting my goals and I'm so thankful for them and their encouragement and inspiration. 

Last night I was in the gym for an hour with 30 minutes on the arc trainer, 15 minutes on the stationary bike and 15 minutes of ab work. Tonight I had another personal training session with Curtis and did a lot of chest, back and arm work so I'm guessing that I'll be very sore tomorrow! I'm still pretty confident that I'll either gain a little or maintain at weigh in tomorrow because of my over-indulgent holiday weekend. Today was a great food day for me, so here's the meal plan:

Breakfast:

-Egg white omelet with diced peppers and reduced fat cheese

-3 slices turkey bacon 

-1 cup fat free milk 

-tea with Splenda and fat free milk 

AM Snack:

-Orange slices 

-tea w/ Splenda 

Lunch:

-Leftover Creamy Chicken w/ Mushrooms

-green salad with light Caesar dressing 

-1 cup strawberries

-sugar free Jello pudding

-Diet Dr Pepper

PM Snack:

-banana

-2 hard boiled egg whites 

Dinner:

-High fiber pasta with ground turkey spaghetti sauce 

-whole wheat English muffin with light butter

Dessert:

-sugar free Black Cherry jello 

The Post-Holiday Fall Out

Usually the holidays aren't a time of too much temptation for me.... being a picky eater, I'm not a big fan of too much of the traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas food. My problem this year was all the times I went out to eat in the days after Thanksgiving. I am by no means blaming my family and friends because I made the decision to go and what to eat, but I can admit that I didn't make the wisest choices and I'm paying for it now. The day after Thanksgiving, I went out to lunch with my parents to a Mexican restaurant and had vegetable fajitas. Not a bad choice, right? But I negated that good choice by adding copious amounts of chips and queso dip. Friday night I went out with friends to our favorite Chinese place. I could have made good choices, but instead I had two fruity, sugar-laden cocktails, three crab rangoons and and order of General Tso's Shrimp (fried). Now I didn't eat my entire entree, but steamed vegetables and egg drop soup would have been a more prudent choice. On Saturday I went out to dinner with my parents at Ruby Tuesday and had a cheeseburger. I only ate half of it and a few fries, but still could have done better with the salad bar. On Sunday night we went out to dinner again, this time to a different Mexican restaurant where I had cheese enchiladas and lots of tortilla chips. Eating out at restaurants is my downfall, mainly because I see it as a treat, something where I should be able to eat whatever I want. Despite all of this food, I've managed to maintain my current weight and not gain. I'm hoping that in these three days before my weigh in, I can staying on plan and redeem my evil deeds from the past week. I'll be in the gym every night working it off, so wish me luck! Here's the meal plan for the day to keep me accountable:

Breakfast:
-1 cup grapefruit
-1 light English muffin with light butter
-1 cup fat free milk
-1 cup of tea with Splenda and fat free milk

AM Snack:
-got busy and didn't get to eat it
-Water

Lunch:
-Smart Ones Fettuccine Alfredo & Broccoli
-Green salad with light dressing
-Banana
-Diet Dr Pepper
-Water

PM Snack (Pre-Gym):
-1 orange
-2 hard boiled egg whites
-Water

PM Snack (Post-Gym):
-Kashi Granola Bar

Dinner:
-Creamy Chicken and Mushrooms (I'll post the recipe tomorrow)
-brown rice
-steamed veggies

Dessert:
-sugar free Jello pudding